My kids are doing that thing again. The one where they keep growing up and it feels like they’re leaving me behind.
Both of them are going to be in school for the whole day this year. I know myself pretty well, and I have a feeling I’m going to go a little crazy if I don’t find something soon to keep me busy during the day. I’ve started looking at job openings, but it’s not so easy to find something when you’re determined to be home at 1:45 one day a week and 2:45 for the others.
I truly feel like being at home with my kids when they’re home has been the best thing I’ve ever done for them. I understand that sometimes parents have to work outside of the house and that’s how it has to be, but I feel like giving up some things right now will be worth it in the long-run for my own family.
I’ve heard it said that “your home can be a heaven on earth if you make it so”, and I really believe that it’s up to the mother especially to really work towards that goal for her family. I have a LONG ways to go in making my home a heaven on earth, but there is peace in our home (most days!), and I’ve grown to love our (little) space. We like to go places and see new things, but at the end of the day we all look forward to coming home again.
Sometimes being a person is really hard, and it seems like I’m having a really difficult time when it comes to saying the right things and making choices that don’t upset the people around me, especially where my camera is concerned. I’m struggling with feelings of guilt and uncertainty, and I’m completely unsure of how to handle everything. I hate it, and it’s the whole reason I had stopped doing photography for so long.